Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
