the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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