Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
