I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
