he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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