...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
