if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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