just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
