apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
