Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
