Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
you made out with another girl for some wings
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
