So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
