"it" just moved
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
