I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
