My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Randomize
