Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
