I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
