the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
