she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
