How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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