I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
