Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
