CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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