why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
