from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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