everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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