Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So much rum. So many feels.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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