Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
