Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
