"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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