I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
