I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
