hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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