I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
