bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
