When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
