I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
