I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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