Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
