That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
