Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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