This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
