I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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