used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
