If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
