How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
