now i know why i became what i already was.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
