you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
