I don't think brook has ever known best
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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