So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you had me at cake vodka
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
